Lady Sekmet Meets Talpa: Raid on Talpa's Castle
by Lady Sekmet
Summary: What happens when you watch the episode "Raid on Talpa's Castle" one too many times?


*Author's Note* This is a very weak attempt at humour fics... nyah :P quite a change from mary sues, neh?  
  
Lady Sekmet Meets Talpa: Raid on Talpa's Castle  
  
{A low brass ensemble plays… you know, that song that only plays when the castle shows up, or the warlords…} Talpa's castle appears; the Ancient's bridge showing in the clouds near the main gate.  
"Ha ha ha! Ssssttuuuuupiiiiiddd mmonk! You ARE deaaaadddd, aaand ssssstiiiilllll you resssiiissssttt meeee!"  
From out of the corner of the room, a green haired woman stepped into the center of the room, in full audience of Talpa. A candle flickered.  
"Lady Sssekmet! Do not bother me woman! Can you not see that I am BUSSSYYY??"  
"But Talpa, aren't you dead too?"  
"Be quiet! I've no need for you! Next time I meet you brother, I'll be sure to give him payment for your insolence! Now be gone!"  
The girl backed away and disappeared, the candle staying steady this time.  
"..hmph! Dead indeed… Now where was I..? Ahhh yes… Ha ha ha! Ssstuuupid monk! You are dead and sstill you ressisst meee! And you dissciples are determined to follow you into the next world. Ari--"  
"But Talpa? This IS the next world, is it not?"  
A hint of red flickered in his eyes (well… a little more red than is normally present in the lord Talpa's eyes). "Why yesss Ssekmet… But I'm too busy to explain. Now run along to the garden! I hear there's been a new shipment of snakes there. Hurry, before Sekhmet takes all of them for himself."  
"Snakes?!? Goodie!" and off she skipped.  
A sigh of exasperation and a sweatdrop grazed Talpa's apparation. "I'll never get this done…"  
  
Meanwhile the Ronins were already making their move. "Ryo, how can you be sure that this Mobius continuum is secure enough to transport all of us safely into the dimension ingress of Talpa's?" He was received by a monstrous glare from the others.  
Kento stared on, the bridge's light playing upon his face. "OoooOOoOOooOooo… pretty lights…" Cye kicked him in the back of the knee. "I mean… I can't believe that the Ancient… is really dead."  
"I know…" breathe Cye.  
Ryo spoke next, "But he had faith in us. It was his guidance that brought us to the place we are now."  
"And his spirit is inside us. So let's go show Talpa what we've got!"  
"Okay, let's go! We can't waste the Ancient One's death!" Rowen said, turning to Sage, who had just spoke before.  
  
"Ha. Ha. Ha. Stupid. Monk." Talpa looked around the room again and continued flatly, "You are dea--"  
"Did you know your door is broken? I had to use your chimney!" She dusted off her kimono, "And believe me, you wouldn't want to see what's in there!"  
Talpa fumed inside, the room grew red. One look at Talpa and Sekmet knew she was in trouble. "Uh-oh! Look at the time! Gotta go!" and quick as a wink, she was gone.  
"Good riddance! Now it's only you and me… nitey litey!" Talpa said with a hint of fondness as he turned to the soft glow of his viewing mirror, "I love you!" he cuddled it with his see-through cheeks, "And you glow so perdy…" he hiccuped and sighed of joy.  
Then the Ronins and bridge cane into view. "Ahem…" He turned back to face the viewers.  
"Ha! Ha! Ha! Stupid monk! You are dead and still you resist me! And your disciples are determined to follow you into the next world." His eyes grew red, and all entrance to the throne room was blockaded. "Arise Netherspirits! Go now! Fly! Destroy their flesh! Spare only the armor!" The wicked deed out of the way, Talpa turned again to the mirror.  
"Mirror, mirror, on the Dynasty castle that floats on a cloud's wall, who's the fairess one of all?"  
And it replied, "Why that's easy! Your warlords of course!"  
"WHAAAATTTTTTTTT?!?"  
"Ohmmmmmmm…" The Netherspirits started off the acapella.  
"Ah!" Sage joined in.  
"Ah!" Followed by Rowen.  
"Ah!" Kento added next.  
"Ah!" And Ryo.  
Then the soprano of the Ronins chimed in. "Ahhh!!!"  
  
"I still can't believe it… My own warlords… out doing me!?"  
"Uh… excuse me… Lord Talpa… sir…?" It was Cale. "I… me and the guys were wondering… um… When can we get the power of the Nether Realm???"  
  
TO BE CONTINUED…  
  
***Next time on *slightly confused* {announcer's voice} RONIN WARRIORS {echo on the 'warriors' part}:  
{Just a couple of days ago…}  
"But Master Talpa?" Cale whined in that annoyingly screeching voice of his, "I wanna be as strong as Anubis too!" Somehow, the scar had migrated over his right eye instead of his left. "And how come I can't get the power of the Nether spirits??"  
"Oy vey!" Talpa smacked his head with that semi-transluscent-though-not-really-because-its-kinda-invisible hand of his…  
  
  
*Author's Note* No... I don't own Talpa's castle, Dynasty Kitchen, or the Ronin Warriors... I'm just a fanfiction writer who has no life other than taping Ronin Warriors of Cartoon Network whenever they feel like showing it, watching them endlessly til my brain is fried from Ryo's infamous "Your mother wears amry boots!" comment... Um.. okay, so I'm just a weirdo with no life and too much time on her hands... :P  



End file.
